I come to you today with a more serious matter. This isn’t my typical post, where I’m supporting RRBC and our awesome authors. No, instead today I’m posting about something personal.
In the recent months, my life has become chaotic. My once ridiculously-happy-for-no-reason attitude has not quite been the same. Why you may ask… people.
Yes, I’m one of those people that actually get affected by others’ thoughts and actions. I’m an emotional person, always have been and I take things to heart. That’s one of the reasons I think I’m always trying to help others. I don’t like to see others hurt or in pain. I like to help whenever and wherever I can. Sometimes, it’s not easy, but I do my best.
Because of this, because of my personality and also the way I was raised, I don’t do well when people are unreasonably mean. I usually only react when the cruelty is geared towards someone else, but I can no longer bite my tongue. I can no longer hold back. I’m at that breaking point, where my closest friends are waiting for me to snap. (When I say snap, I simply mean to break down into a blubbering, crying fool.)
If you know me, you know I’m a good-hearted person. I try to do good to and for others… I work as hard as I can at everything I do, whether it’s my full-time job, my book club or my personal life… I look for the good in people, all people… I help when I can… etc. etc.
Why am I telling you all of this? Don’t worry, there’s a point, which I’m gradually getting to. (Bear with me!)
My job… the one that’s a full-time gig that helps pay my bills… I love my job, love what I do, love who I work with, love my customers… BUT, several months back, I was questioned about some inappropriate things. My integrity was questioned, as was my morality. Now, I don’t want to get into the details, but I will say it involved another associate. Their accusations, of course, were false and had absolutely no ground to stand on. To say I was offended and hurt is to say the least.
Come to find out, a fellow associate started the rumors. Yes, I know this for a fact. I saw the letter this “friend” wrote. Keep in mind that this happened when a new Area Manager took over, which I’m certain was taken advantage of. The rumors were started and the accusations began.
Fast forward a few months… Still same workplace, only now, we’ve lost a few associates. One of which simply walked out on us, no notice. Would you believe that two *upper management* people visited her home to see if she was willing to stay on payroll so she could take over MY position? The one that I still sit in. The one I haven’t mentioned a single word about leaving. I know, shocked me too.
With all this time that has passed and the changes we’ve gone thru, would you believe that those previous accusations came up just this past week? To a fellow associate, no less, who felt it necessary to defend me. Why is it okay for them to even be put in that position? Allow me to also mention that the aforementioned *rumored* associate is no longer working there. So rumor or not, definitely no ground to stand on, no policies to break. And not a single word to me… But I have a very strong feeling that the same person that started the rumors before, attempted to do it again.
Now, with all of that being said… Is any of this right? Is any of this a decent way of treating people, treating your employees?
Why are some people so bent on making others’ lives so miserable? Am I too good-hearted? Have I fought too long to see the good in people? Why is it, that someone who works so hard at their job and someone who does only enough to get by… why does the latter get more respect? How is this ok?
What’s the point in a rumor, other than to hurt someone? To scar them? To make them feel alienated, unwelcomed and fearful of the next accusation to come?
How does one sleep at night, knowing the pain you’ve caused someone else? Knowing the lies you’ve told? If you want to get ahead, to succeed, you have to work. You have to show that you want to succeed. You shouldn’t run people over, you shouldn’t try to get someone else fired. What purpose does that serve?
I’m still at this same workplace, and I still work my a** off for these people, day in and day out. Because that’s the kind of person I am. Because I will ALWAYS give my all. Because despite what anyone else thinks, I will not purposely make things harder on someone else. There are still those that I work with that I genuinely care about. I will be here for THEM, until a better opportunity comes along.
No, I haven’t confronted anyone about this. And no, I haven’t reported it. That doesn’t mean I won’t, but right now, I’m going to keep my head up. I’m going to continue doing what I do best. I am better than that, I’m better than the rumors, I’m better than my “reputation.”
I’m not sharing this with you because I want sympathy. I don’t want to start some protest, nor do I expect someone to act on my behalf. No, I’m not after any kind of satisfaction or revenge.
I have three reasons for sharing my story with you today:
1. I want to explain why I’ve seemed more off-the-grid, why I’ve been quiet.
2. I have a voice that deserves to be heard. Speaking MY truth allows me to move on, fully and completely. I also miss the old me. I want my happy spirit back!
3. Lastly, I want to make a difference and if there’s a chance I can help someone, then all the more reason… I strive to make a difference each day I am blessed to breathe. We should all strive for that.
Now for you, my readers, my followers, my fellow bloggers… Do not let others create your reputation. Do not let someone show others who you are. That’s YOUR job. Be you, your true self. Let others see what you have to offer, let others see how awesome you are!
If you want something, go after it. ALWAYS pursue your dream!! And may God help see you thru it. But, please, do not try and take someone else down to get there. Don’t be that cruel person in someone’s life. Be a positive. In everything you do, to everyone you meet, for everything you want. Do good, be good.
Thanks for listening today. 🙂